It’s okay not to be okay

I know when you tell me it’ll be okay it’s because you care. I know it’s because you want to reassure me and don’t want to see me sad. And I know it’s sometimes the easiest thing to say, because it’s what you know how to say.

But I need you to know that, sometimes, it’s not what I need to hear. Sometimes I need to be okay with it not being okay.

I’ve had enough problems in my life to know they are fixable. I’ve dealt with enough dramas to know they’ll eventually pass. I know that life has a way of working itself out and so I know that, at the end of the day, it will be fine.

However, on occasion, I need to allow myself to be sad. To let myself be overwhelmed, however momentarily. To break down, to cry, to complain or moan, to do whatever I need to do to be okay with what I’m feeling. And I need to feel comfortable with that.

I know you might think I’ve come to you because I want a fix and so, by telling me it’ll be okay, you have given me some kind of answer. But that’s not always the case.

Sometimes I just need you to listen; to tell me with your eyes you are hearing me and you are there for me. To let me vent and get stuff off my chest. To make me feel safe if I need to cry and to hold me if I do. To not pass judgement and to offer advice if I ask for it.

To show me it’ll be okay rather than simply tell me, from a simple distraction to a gentle gesture.

And when I have had my time being sad and the problem has inevitably passed, I don’t need you to tell me you were right. I came to you for your support, not to prove your worth.

I haven’t come to you to fix my problem. If I have opened up to you it is because you bring me comfort, safety, trust. I am not asking you to make this better for me because I know I must do that for myself to truly be alright; sometimes I just need to feel sad and for you to be okay with that.

Please remember: it’s okay not to be okay.

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